Mostly couples, some individuals

I work with couples at any stage, from dating to married for decades. You don't need to be in crisis, or sure you want to stay together, to start.

What couples most often bring:

• The same argument, over and over, and the pursue-withdraw cycle underneath it
• Rebuilding trust after an affair or another breach
• Two families, or two cultures, expecting different things
• Distance, or a relationship that has slowly drifted
• Deciding whether to stay together

I also see individuals, often people who notice the same pattern showing up in every relationship.

Individual work matters, and I approach it the same way: by looking at how you relate to the people closest to you.

Interracial and cross-cultural couples are at the center of the work I care most about. Sessions can be in English, Mandarin, or a mix. Situations that come up often:

• One partner adjusted to a new culture faster than the other, and the gap has become the argument.
• In-law expectations and filial obligation arriving in the middle of a marriage.
• Partners raised where affection was shown by providing, trying to learn a language of reassurance neither of them grew up with.
• International students and recent immigrants carrying a relationship across a time zone.
• Mixed couples where one partner speaks Mandarin and one doesn't.

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If there's violence in your relationship, or one of you is afraid of the other, couples therapy isn't a safe place to start. Contact me on your own and I'll help you find the right support first.