EFT couples therapy · Telehealth in Washington · English & 普通话
You've had this argument before. You'll have it again on Thursday.
I'm Alan Li, a couples therapist trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy. Whatever brings you in, whether it's money, distance or trust, my goal is to help the two of you handle it together, without taking sides.
Evenings and weekend times available · Video sessions anywhere in Washington State
Who I work with
What people come in for
These are composites, not real clients. If one sounds familiar, it's worth a call.
The same argument, week after week, and neither of you can say how it starts anymore.
The pursue-withdraw cycle
Something happened. You've technically moved on, but things haven't felt the same since.
Repair after a breach of trust
Your families expect different things, and somehow the two of you end up fighting about it.
Cross-cultural and immigrant couples
Nothing is really wrong. You're polite to each other and you share a calendar, but you haven't really talked in a while.
Distance, and the slow drift
- First conversation
- Free / 15 min
- Couples session
- $175 / 50 min
- Individual session
- $135 / 50 min
- Payment
- HSA / FSA · superbill provided
My approach
What's under the fight
In Emotionally Focused Therapy, a fight that keeps coming back is usually about two questions: are you there for me? and am I enough for you? That's what we work on.
One partner pushes
Pushes for an answer, gets louder or says more, and keeps going after it stops helping, because stopping feels like losing you.
Underneath“Do I still matter to you?”
One partner pulls back
Goes quiet, gets very calm and logical, or leaves the room to keep things from heating up, because staying feels like letting you down again.
Underneath“Can I ever get this right?”
Get started
How it starts
Feeling nervous about starting is normal. If I'm not the right fit, I'll tell you and help you find someone who is.
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Step one
A free 15-minute call
Video or phone, with nothing to fill in first. Hear how I work and ask anything.
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Step two
Your first session
We look closely at the fight itself. By the end, you'll both recognize the pattern you get caught in.
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Step three
Weekly sessions
Most couples notice the arguing start to change within the first couple of months.
Pick a time
Choose a slot on my calendar. You'll get a confirmation and a video link straight away.
Open the scheduler
Or reach me directly:
(425) 390-4477
alan@lirelationshipcounseling.com
Or have me reach out
Leave your details and a good time to call. I'll get back to you within two business days.
Please don't put clinical details in this form. It isn't a secure or confidential channel. Save all of that for the call, where it belongs.