What actually happens in the first session?
Mostly I listen and ask about the fight: what each of you does when it starts, and in what order. By the end I can usually describe your cycle back to you, and you'll both recognize it. That becomes our map for the work.
You don't need to prepare, agree on what happened, or know anything about EFT beforehand. Most couples don't.
We're nervous about starting. Is that normal?
Completely normal. The nervousness usually says something about how much these issues weigh on you. I appreciate the risk couples take in coming in, and we'll work through it together.
How often will we meet, and for how long?
Weekly at the start if you can manage it, every other week at minimum. Couples work loses traction badly with long gaps, because the cycle rebuilds itself between sessions.
Most couples start to feel a difference in the arguing within the first couple of months. Getting to something that holds on its own usually takes longer than that. I'll tell you honestly where I think we are.
Can we do sessions in Mandarin? 可以用中文咨询吗？
Yes. Depending on how comfortable you each are, we can keep it mostly Mandarin or mix in English, Chinglish included. It can take a few minutes each session to warm up to the language. 可以全程用普通话，也可以中英夹杂。
Is video really as good for couples as being in a room?
The research on telehealth for couples work is reassuring, and there's a practical advantage: you're arguing in the room where you actually argue. What matters more is the setup. Both of you on one screen, in the same room, door closed, phones elsewhere, no driving. If one of you has to take it from the car, we reschedule.
What if only one of us wants to come?
Start anyway. A lot of couples work begins with one person, and one partner changing their half of the pattern shifts the whole thing more than people expect. If your partner joins later, that's easy to arrange.
What if we're not sure we want to stay together?
Then that's what we work on, openly. Being unsure is a common reason to come in. It's a different kind of work, and it helps to say so early.
Where can you see clients?
Anyone physically located in Washington State at the time of the session: Bellevue, Kirkland, Redmond, Seattle, Spokane, and the parts of the state where finding a couples therapist in person means a two-hour drive. Your location is what the licensing rule turns on, and all sessions are by video.